Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Crystal Light


Can a boy of any body type be a fop?  Well of course young sir!  But does it help if a boy is svelte and supple?  Well of course do u expect me to traipse around town in elastic-waist denim pants I think not!  But still - at what point do diet foods pass that ineffable threshold from fop to dandy?  At what point does the foppish flavor of a wholesome Lean Pocket or Dannon Light&Fit give way to the dandy ambition of a Tab soft drink??  Ambiguity makes life colorful and compelling.  But artificial color is not color but a feint for someone who likes to wear outfits or watch their "stories" on daytime network TV.  Pouring low-calorie Crystal Light mix into a tall glass of tap water is not aesthetic but rather the mundane chemistry of a dandy in need of a quasi-sugar fix.  It is an 8 on a scale of dandy to euler's number.

I see u bro making red drink out of your mom's cabinet.  I see u bro drinking red drink at the Owl City concert.  I see u bro at the grocery store buying red drink and a box of sanitary wipes telling the cashier they're for ur best girl but I don't buy it bro we're not bros anymore ur not invited to my house ur not welcome to play Tecmo Super Bowl at my mom's house.

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